Oh sweet girl

Why are you here

Where did you get mixed up

This wasn't supposed to be where you landed,

You were supposed to be amongst the stars

Beyond the moon

Farther than the planets.

______________

in the days after the election i cannot stop thinking— doing only that— thinking.

i pass by people on the street, make coffees, sit in my apartment and my mind cannot shift from anywhere other than what feels to be the obvious; humanity.

but in my either endless conversations of confusion and despair or echoed silence, those feeling what i am feeling are minimal.

a political race like this should have been a long shot. good vs evil. however after 2016 we witnessed how deadly it can be to weaponize the oppressed, fear-monger the powerful and of course successfully tap into the psyche of the male.

today, we saw the same thing done.

a few reoccurring themes existing is that policy is what created this outcome, but i argue it is comprehension.

and not only being able to comprehend the racism, misogyny, transphobia, homophobia woven into the fabric of this country, but to confront it.

evolution does not happen without difficult conversations, without the ability to acknowledge that this country was built on genocide, slavery, white supremacy— and this is what the country reveals.

historically those aspects cannot be ignored or muted, shoved away or made to be small. when it comes to the psychological components of healing ignoring the root of traumas and fundamental issues is not how one heals.

as my wisdom speaks, without the full acknowledgment, we cannot evolve. justifications are a man’s best friend and they come in beautifully written scriptures and applause.

as my privilege speaks i assumed we were ready for a woman, but that ache that throbbed said; our entire world, not just country is around the foundation of a man being a savior. we have not had a woman save the day, mixed with three hundred years ago, a country was built without the inclusion of any other race or gender, written while humans were property, only the elite mattered, genocide was a familiarity; reflecting themes that exist today.

in the last week i saw evil win. the layers of how the world can dismiss harm and make it all okay.

i am not going to continue on, as if all things are okay, and things will be alright, because i do not think they will be. my fears are the way people interact with one and other will change. the slow descend of human rights. for it has taken me almost 28 years, three different states, working from high end retail jobs, an art consulting firm, behavioral health, mere coffee all to understanding— i am living in a man’s world and my own body to connect with the concept my rights lie in the hands of others who never endure womanhood. i could make the most money to the least, and a man will still have a slight say over me, and what happens to my health, and my body.

i noticed in 2016 it became acceptable to talk to women in an abrasive manner— the way our president did. i noticed it was okay to ‘speak your mind’ as in use slurs, and rhetoric that was crude and abrupt. that was 8 years ago, and the public wonders why kids, and those who are young members of society have that as part of their foundation and algorithm.

as much as it disheartens me that we are here, i worry about the outcome of the younger generation- the education system, our elderly who rely on social security, and those who do not understand the trajectory of what the next four years look like.