I swear I am not the villain,

Dressed in righteous pages celebrating my gods religion,

Coated in the hypocrisies of my decisions

Except— there must be ifs, ands, or buts.

What happened to her was just.

She was this,

She was that,

It makes sense right?

It has to,

It must.

Under the sun in the city of sin,

Turning a blind eye is how my drawn out

love affair begins

At times I thought;

She must have misunderstood him,

Silenced his dreams and watched as he grew thin.

While he deteriorated and pleaded

she shut him out.

He was waiting for me,

To show him what love was all about.

We gallivanted away

I don’t know if I hated to admit

The more he turned to me for solace and ease

The more it brought me to my knees

And I realized

The screams inside couldn’t be tamed yelling

I needed him to stay.

I will help you heal,

Will help you find peace

Please don’t leave,

Trickling into

I will be whatever you need me

To be.

So the years go on,

We go through phases of turbulent games

I dress like her hoping his lips

pine for my name.

Settle for

We’re just really good friends

Date others to only

Make him jealous and watch his face freeze

Glances of

this is what we could be.

Curating that one day the moment is just right,

Finally have us go home hand in hand

at the end of the night.

But then years down the line creep up,

Like I hear they always do

I think of that girl who was so broken,

So blue.

I think of how she moved far away

To escape,

You

Me?

Dressed in righteous pages in my gods religion,

Coated in the hypocrisies of my decisions.

So the years go on,

He still plays her favorite songs,

Thirty years later

He waits at the bench where they pondered

Hoping that she will wander

Under the sun in the city of sin,

Turning a blind eye is how my drawn out

love affair begins

And I ultimately win,

Right?