i am free

i am the purple and pink of the sky

just before the sun peeks its eyes over the horizon

the quiet of the world at ease

i am the memories halted in time

on childhood streets and sidewalks

inside,

i am still.

I have burned many houses down

filled them to the brim with remnants of

who I was,

who I wanted to be,

could've beens

watched the smoke engulf the sky

As I watch every trace disappear.

But as the wiser part of me should have known

nothing completely goes away.

the smoke imprinting my lungs,

I struggled to breathe the same way

and all I could think

is how I needed to breathe

the same way as before

to be the same

way I was before.

an endless fight amounting to nothing.

on my knees,

crowd jeering for my shame and recoil

dagger in my back

I say;

twist it harder.

push it further.

watch me step on the egg shells

break them all to pieces

keep the princes and their steads;

I don't need them.

cease all the kings horses

and all the kings men

leave the pieces where they lie,

for the door was never too small

and I was never too big.

fear does that to you,

a fools poison.

it enters your veins

making you afraid to take harsh truths,

has you rot like the beams of the homes

that took minutes to turn

to ash.

Forgetting to understand the power

that's on the other side

my lungs will never be the same

I do breathe differently

maybe I can grow gills somewhere

exist in the unruly

light years away

a liberation

created

entirely on my

own.